Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People?

I am sitting here with a heavy heart. This world lost another beautiful soul today. She was young, smart, beautiful, talented...an angel on earth. I don't know what to say. There are really no words.

This girl was a friend of my daughter, a dear member of our band family. I've just spent the last 6 or 7 hours at this girl's home church with her friends and some family. We prayed, we sang, we hugged, we cried....I saw these beautiful teenagers reaching out to each other and just showing love.

But the thing that really got me, my youngest (she turns 3 in September) was just dropped off to me. My dear friends watched her so that I could be with my band kids. As we were walking back into the church, she was holding my hand and says, "Jesus is Home! Look, Mom! He's right there!" She then proceeded to point to a shadow that was walking right along with us. There truly was our shadow and then a 2nd shadow next to our shadow. Keep in mind...there was nobody else walking with us. Well, take that back, Jesus was walking right along side us! At that point of this horrible evening, Jesus was there all along. He never left us and was truly there when I needed Him the most. Thank You Jesus!

As a parent and mentor to these children, I can't even begin to explain to them why it happens. If I can't even understand it myself, how do I comfort them? How do I console my own child? Tonight, the Holy Spirit showed me how.

Hug your children tight every day. Tell them that you love them every day. Pray for them every day.And when the bad stuff happens, show up and be there for them. Even if it is sitting in silent reflection and prayer or worship. JUST BE THERE.

To Make Up or Not To Make Up...My "I" Story

I've recently made a decision to become a small business owner. Some of thoughts that entered my mind when trying to make this decision were things like, "Who do you think you are trying to do something like this?" Another thought I had while trying out a product for the first time, "What have I got myself into now?"

Okay, now you understand the last thought...oh yes, a charcoal mask and oh yes, I did the charcoal mask challenge. I was somewhat successful (or so I thought).

6 weeks later and still haven't made my first order minimum. Which makes me think even more, "Who do you think you are trying to do this?"

Here's my answer: I am a Mom who is tired of being bossed around in a thankless corporate world. I want more time with my family. I want work on my own terms.

Read my "I" story below:

Before I started my business...

Full Time Working Mom in a corporate job that I don't love.

I started my business because...

I truly believe that we are all beauitiful works of art created by God. As I go through my walk of faith, I know that wherever anyone is on this journey, I, you, and we are also works of art in progress. My number 1 business goal is sharing Christ's love with all by helping others see their own beauty, inspiring them to be the very best version of themselves, and to be a bright light in this dark world. Ephesians 2:10 My personal reasons are so that I can available for my kids and my husband more. I long for financial freedom and to have a job that is truly flexible.

As a result of starting my business...

Since I am just starting out, the really thing that this has given me so far is confidence and hope.

As I build my business, I am looking forward to...

I am looking forward to transforming into the woman that God has planned for me to be.

So, here goes my shameless plug...check out www.marykay.com. If interested (I don't have a personal website yet), send me a message.

My very first step in this adventure?
Figure out how to accomplish this...stay tuned for further details. You may get to see a random video tutorial!

Finding Peace from Transformation

My journey continues with this transformation. I have been asking myself this question: Does peace come with transformation? My intuition about this says yes!

One way that I have been looking at peace through transformation is through my emotions. I've been reading a book about emotional intelligence. My hope is that I will learn how to deal with these crazy emotions!

Transformation starts in the mind is what I have discovered from the Bible. Our thoughts determine our actions. With Christ, out thoughts become new. When your thinking is changed, your actions are changed, and your life is changed. Already with this journey, my life has changed. I have started a new business and I am at peace with some of my thoughts. I am not there yet but always a work in progress.

I know that even when the world seems dark, I am beginning to think like Jesus and that confirms to me that He is always with me even when I can't see what's coming. Through Christ, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!

Now this leads me to the next question in this journey...how does the Holy Spirit change us?

Listen Up!

Transformation is so much more than an outer change!

I did some research yesterday while enjoying a day off work and the 4th of July holiday. I spent the morning reading my Bible and reading about my verse: Romans 12:2. I ended up doing a little verse mapping and made a huge discovery!

Transformation is not just an outward change but it is also an inward heart change! Mind Blown...

Just in case you don't know the verse: Romans 12:2 NIV

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

I wrote down the following when considering the first line (Do not conform...): Dare to be different! Follow God! When thinking of "this world", this referring to undergoing total change which leads to God's will. Let the change happen. "Your mind" will act under the influence of the spirit.

Now, the second part; "....test and approve..."This is referring to a double process. That process involves the following: 1. Deciding what the will of God is. 2. Choosing and acting on it.  "Perfect will" is the thing willed by God is here; the right coarse of action.

So, what does all of this matter? Well, everything to me right now. I am going through some changes and I don't know how to feel. I am letting God chip away that hard shell of stubbornness. I am a huge mess! I am hoping that in the midst of this mess with all this crazy going on around me that I can find some light through the darkness. Every. single. day. I wake up and fight to start my day. I must push forward before falling back into the depths of anxiety filled fear! I WILL NOT GIVE UP!

Father God, please strip my mind down and work on me from the inside so that my outer shines!

Next post, I am going to look at this question I've been asking. Does peace come with transformation of this kind? Stay Tuned to this journey of transformation!

Transformation

Transformation:

trans·for·ma·tion

ˌtran(t)sfərˈmāSH(ə)n/

noun

1. a thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:2 NIV

That is the word and verse God put on my heart for this year. So far, the journey has taught my what my strengths and weaknesses are: I can do more than I give myself credit for but I tend to take on too much.

 

My hope is that through this blog I can inspire you and spread love to the world...one sentence at a time.

I am posting this today rather than January 1st because today is my new year...New Year in Pink with a Pink Cadillac on my mind.

Stay tuned for further posts as I embark on this new journey...

Merry Christmas and New Year Thoughts

It's been awhile since I have written on this blog.

2014 has been an interesting year for me....one that is leading to better things. My one word for this year was family. I found out it wasn't about mending relationships with family but learning about different types of "families" in my life: job family, troop family, spiritual/church family, bestie family, family family.

My 2014 started in January with wrecking my car. My faith was unshakable. I knew Jesus quite literally took the wheel of my car on that snowy day. It all worked out despite my car being totaled. I ended up with a 2014 Ford Focus and I love my car. I can put January behind me and pressed on into February.

February through May went by quickly. I had a change in my job, my Girl Scout troop, my Life group, and my attitude changed along with those things. My best friend lost her son to suicide. I know my "bestie family" (The girls I grew up with that although apart, we still care about each other.) I discovered that I was not ready to lead a Life group. I also learned that I love being a troop leader just not with the current co-leader. (Through that alone, I began to learn how to love myself despite the way a certain person made me feel.) My job taught me how to be strong when being bombarded by negativity, failure, frustration, people who talked behind my back, and once again how to love myself. I realized that they didn't matter, that their negativity was not my fault (some had/have personal issues.), that only 1 love truly mattered....God's Love.

The summer months came and went. A flurry of activity from more work problems to a wonderful family vacation in Florida and even a beautiful wedding for my sister in law. At this point tjogh my faith began to falter...I stopped going to church. I don't really know why I felt so spiritually dead. Felt alone. I learned I had a family called "church family". I received cards of encouragement out of the blue. That started melting my heart again. I learned that my family family (cousins, in laws, brother, nieces, nephews, Dad, husband and my children are very important to me.)

The fall months brought just being too busy. Cheer and soccer practices and games made it seem like I was drowning. I started realizing it was okay to say no sometimes. October brought another wedding...this time for a cousin in my husband's family. I realized I missed this side of my family immensely and that I want to be around them more. They accept me for who I am and besides they all give great hugs.

November seemed to be the month that started recharging me. Yes there were problems but I felt ready to work through it. It started with getting a Facebook message from my pastor. I first thought, "Why does he care?" I answered him back and confided in him. I asked him how to get out of my funk. He then reminded me that I was not forgotten. God put me in my pastor's mind that day. That is the first time in my spiritual journey that any pastor contacted me and actually cared. Thank You Pastor Mark! Thanksgiving came and it felt good to be doing positive things for others.  Still in a funk but it was starting to get better.

December came, still here for a few more days. It flew by but I've had a lot of thinking time with being sick and now off for the holidays. Once again, God spoke to my heart on Christmas Eve. I am feeling more recharged and I am ready for whatever 2015 brings. I am blessed more than I knew. Below is my Christmas reflection from Christmas Eve:

Just sitting here reflecting on Christmas. For so many years, Christmas was just full of painful memories and lots of hurt. 3 years ago I attended a church Christmas service. In my mind "it was just another church service". Thinking back that was one of the best nights of my life. It changed me. God and I had a conversation and he answered back with something so huge....I can't really put it into words. It was the first Christmas that the pain and hurt went away.

Tonight, I was at that same church. I am still being changed. I've been in a funk this year. God has changed my heart again. 

Thank you God for bringing your son into this world all because you love me, because you want me, because you loved the world. I am humbled, in awe, touched, feeling like I don't deserve this kind of love while crying tears of joy. Thank you God for not giving up on me.

Merry Christmas to you all! I love each and everyone of you.

I am on a quest today and the rest of 2014....searching, praying, and thinking about a new word for 2015.

MTC: Week 5

I've been looking over the blog hop topic questions for this week and I can't really just pick 1 this time. There are so many things I need or want to say...so here it goes!

1. #Beneficial: This study has been beneficial to me because I am now a non-smoker! Woo Hoo! I have finally realized that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! (my paraphrase of Philippians 4:13) So many things have been beneficial during this study...my small Facebook group #41, the OBS blog, twitter, Rev It Up and the fact that I am studying God's word with women from all over the world!

2. Lamentations 3:22-24 NIV "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. The are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

This is what I get in my own words: Jenny, my love for you is so great and because of this great love, my plan for you will never fail. Trust me, girl, I got this! I am your portion and that is all you need.

I cry out and say, "Lord, you are my portion. You are all that I need to get past this moment!"

3. Emotional Triggers: This is a tricky, sticky subject. Just like when I get upset and crave something chocolate and filled with caramel, I also crave smoking a cigarette. I crave it after I eat a big meal and I also crave them especially after a big argument. I crave them on my 40 minute drive to work. I crave them especially when I am happy, sad, angry, and anxious. My triggers for food cravings or cigarette cravings revolve around my emotions. I have tried quitting so many times but this time I think it will stick. Why, you ask? Well, my friends, because I have God by my side. When my food cravings happen, I have usually gone through some big emotional battle with my 10-year old daughter (who thinks she is going on 16) and I forget to breathe, to pray, and to ultimately lean on God. Instead I use stuffing food into my face as a crutch. What if I stop and breathe and ask God to help? What kind of difference could this make? I think this could make a lifestyle change that is beneficial to my spiritual growth.

4. Soul Filling Satisfaction: “For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things” (Psalm 107:9)

This promise speaks volumes to my heart. My soul has been thirsty and craving God. When I fill myself with negativity, with food, or with smoking a cigarette I am giving myself a temporary fix. Now, if change my perspective and start filling my soul with God, my life is going to change not just temporarily but my life is going to change for the better permanently. It is going to stick this time. 

The one thing that I could ask God to help me feel a deep and soul-filling satisfaction is that when I make a good choice to make a healthy, lifestyle change that God will show me wisdom to know that it is the baby steps that are going make a long lasting impact on my life that goes further than just my outward appearance. My hope is that these changes will be felt deep down into my soul. I #CraveGod and hope that he will fill my soul with good things and that the negative things in my life are sucked up into a vacuum and thrown out with the trash.